Baby Dreams

So I think last night was the first time I actually had a dream where I saw the baby. I think it was a girl, but not positive. I actually had two dreams.

First I had a dream that I was going to have the baby on Monday. I went in for an appointment and they did an internal and said, wow look at that you're 3 cm dilated! Looks like you're going to have your baby on Monday. I freaked out and said that can't be, I'm not ready...the baby isn't ready...it needs to be in there longer. Then I looked down and could see that I had dropped, my belly was way way down. But they didn't seem concerned at all that the baby would only be 30 weeks. I started crying and didn't know what to do, I was going to call John but for some reason I couldn't and got all overwhelmed because I knew I had stuff going on at work this coming week and so much stuff wasn't done. And I didn't want to walk anywhere or do anything that would encourage labor so I was just stuck in the waiting room at the doctor's office. Then my logic started setting in and said, well how come you aren't admitting me now to slow down the labor and putting me on bed rest? They still didn't care. Baby was coming on Monday.

So then, later on I had a dream that I was somewhere with Vicky and Becca, who is about 15 months old, and I was trying to put both of the babies in the backseat of my car with the car seats, but they weren't installed correctly...they were only tied in with a seatbelt and the LATCH wasn't connected at all. Fortunatley Vicky knew how to fix it. But then my baby was just on the seat with a seatbelt at one point, and its butt kept falling through the crack into the trunk, very strange. Finally, both babies were in their car seats and I realized I hadn't nursed in a while and my baby was hungry but I could tell that Vicky was getting frustrated with me because I was taking so long to do everything. Finally I said we could just go home and I would feed the baby there and hoped the baby would be ok until then. Baby wasn't crying but just looked really weak and I was afraid I was hurting it by not feeding it right then. I think that's about when I woke up.

Very strange indeed. I think the first one stems from the conversation with my boss yesterday where he said he figured by about the 2nd week of September I'll be completely miserable driving back and forth and will want to go part-time, and he thinks I'll end up delivering 3 weeks early. Yikes...oh and he thinks I'm having a boy. I guess the other one is also just a fear of not being ready and the fear of being a mom and doing everything right...needless to say it doesn't make for a good nights sleep.